Am I ready for the half marathon?

So am I ready for the half marathon? Well, yes... and no.

Let's start with the no side.

The reason I am not ready to try to complete 13.1 miles is for health/training reasons. I was hoping this would be the motivation I needed to get healthier, but once again I have not put my best effort in getting into shape. In fact since I agreed to participate in this I have gained a bunch of weight. So much weight that I am now just a few pounds short of the most I have ever weighed.

I went back to my Dr this week who has been helping me with my depression and struggles with sleeping. Thankfully since my wife came home my depression and anxiety has pretty much disappeared. I still have a very hard time with my sleeping and need something to help me get a good night's sleep.

When my Dr and I first started talking he was relieved that I wasn't having depression like symptoms anymore. But my weight was a concern. Especially because of all the weight I have gained since I last saw him.

After talking about my depression I asked him what he thought about my participation in this half marathon. I was hoping to hear him say "this will be good for you". But instead he said "I am not sure I like the idea very much. It may not be a good idea."

I of course asked why and he said because of health reasons. I asked what specifically and he more or less is concerned about my lower body(specifically getting shin splints) being able to carry the load. I asked about my heart and that aspect and he said he wasn't as much worried about that part. Shin splints, I have had those before, so I can deal with that.

I wish I had been able to find it within myself to really train for this, but I have not been able to. My weight is so much of a struggle that my Dr and I even talked about Gastric Bypass Surgery(yes... I actually qualify for that).

I may not be physically ready for this half marathon, but mentally, I am as ready as one can be.

I am mentally prepared to simply walk for four hours and complete as much as I can of the 13.1 miles. If I walk just above 3mph I can complete the course. I know that is easier said than done, but mentally I am looking at this half marathon as a comparison to life in the midst of depression. You have to just keep moving. You can't stop. If you need help, accept it. Even if it is a golf cart coming to pick me up to bring me to the rest of the pack.

I know I will have a lot of people pulling for me. Just like I did when I was struggling with depression. The only thing I hope doesn't happen is for any focus to be brought upon me. The rest of my team will finish well ahead of me, as will most likely the rest of the participants. I am hoping I can sneak into the finish line(either on my own accord or on the back of a tow truck).

I plan on blogging more about how I am comparing the way I will look at this challenge of completing 13.1 miles to struggling with depression. But for right now this is where I am at. My Dr didn't say "Don't do it", so that means I can try it, right?

If you would like to help support my effort you can make a donation with the link I am going to provide. This cause means so much to me I am willing to take my chances with whatever all that mileage can do to me.

This is the link to my donation page:

http://www.active.com/donate/notaloneteam/wayneperry